Each time I come back to this part in the story of David, a couple questions come to mind. First, how did David move forward? Second, where in my life do I think I “lack” from God that would motivate me to look somewhere else for contentment? Let’s unpack the story together.

The opening verse in 1 Samuel 11 throws a red flag. It ends with “But David remained in Jerusalem.” What?

But David remained in Jerusalem.

2 Samuel 11:1

David always goes to war with his men. Why did he choose to stay back? Chronologically, the passage that is read before 1 Samuel 11:1 is 1 Chronicles 20 where King David and his army defeat the Philistine giants once again. David walks away with victory. However, this spring, David sends Joab to lead Israel against the Ammonites. I wonder whether Joab responded with a puzzled look of confusion. Joab could do it. We see that Joab led with his trust rooted in the Lord in 2 Samuel 10:12-14. This is not the issue. The concern is what is going on inside David?

Unfortunately, there is not a passage where David reveals his thoughts that led him from coming home victorious to sleeping with another man’s wife to ordering that man’s death sentence. As fellow humans we are acutely aware of our sinful nature. We know there is better clarity on the outside looking into someone else’s life than our own. Reading 1 Samuel 11 earlier in my faith, I did not understand how David could not know this would end badly. One selfish decision builds onto another and another and another. If David would not have made the choice to stay in Jerusalem this never would have happened. But today, I do not think that is right. The motivation is what I wrestle with. The moment David’s motivation changes from serving God to serving himself is when temptation latches on. In the midst of temptation, the power of God is the only thing that can save us. Did David think he could take his fill of pleasure and come out clean?

But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.

2 Samuel 11:27

Regrets are hard for me to let go. The remorse fills my body with shame. By my own strength, I cannot make myself clean again. My mind tires from replays of “I shouldn’t have done that” or “why did I say that” or “how did I not learn from last time”? The good news is that God makes us clean. David remembers this steadfast truth by how he responds in 12:20 when the firstborn of Bathsheba dies. David got up.

The death of the baby atoned for David’s sin. As David takes a shower, puts on fresh clothes, and goes to worship God, it is the picture of being made clean physically and spiritually. I need this picture because I can sit in the regret longer than the redemption Christ offers to make me clean. The death of the firstborn in 1 Samuel 12 points to another firstborn, Jesus Christ, that comes to atone sin once and for all.

Although David convinced himself that he lacked contentment with God and went down the path to find that satisfaction in something else, he found his way back to God. David turned from his sin and received the redemption of God. The more beautiful reality is God knew this chapter in the life of David would happen, yet God chose David as king of Israel. When we find ourselves fallen on a path of selfish ambition looking around asking “how did I get here?”, get up. Wash your face, put on new clothes, and worship God. Remember, He makes us clean.

Q: What regret do you hold onto that needs to be released to God? Choose to worship God today for His faithfulness to make you clean.

Additional Reading: 1 Chronicles 20; Psalm 32, 51, 86, 122